A stomach bug has been running rampant through the city I live in. Nearly everyone I know has had it, or has it. No fun. I was down for the count four days last week. We do not like to be sick, at all. I only mention this because generally, okay always, when I get sick the house falls apart and I’m left with two weeks worth of mess to clean up when I feel better. This time? There was no mess to speak of. Huh? Peers around looking for the aftermath that should be. Not even shoved in a box or the closet or both. Hmm. One could get used to this. Our granddaughter came to visit and I didn’t cease to exist. Okay, now it’s really getting weird. Her and I had a girls day on Friday, which we do every so often. It’s always a good time for both of us. Then when we come home and she and Papa get together I’m left in the ditch. She pays attention to me, him, not so much. Friday? We both got attention. Who is this man and what has he done with my husband? You know, the one who shattered my heart and insisted it wasn’t his fault. Paranoia isn’t usually something I deal with. Right now, it’s on the edge of my conscience. I would love nothing more than to abandon my hurts and settle right into this new situation. I’m afeared I’d be setting myself up for a world of hurt if I do. Sad, but true. We’re defiantly moving in the right direction. I find myself daring to hope this is the new ‘normal’. I’ve been let down more than once before. Given this is a pattern I’ve seen repeated over the course of the last ten years or so, I’m skeptical and rightly so. My plans haven’t changed. Tomorrow is the last day of training, then I wait for a state test date to become certified. I’ll be applying for positions and acting as if I’ll be on my own within the year. It would be so much nicer if I could trust this was a real change. A permanent, I really got I got his attention finally this time. The pain involved if it’s not is too great to relax yet. In the mean time I’m going to enjoy this peaceful period. In this moment it’s about US, not him, and it is so nice I can’t begin to explain as words fail me.
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